2020 what a year it has been. If someone was to come back from the future, and tell you how 2020 was going to be, would you of believed it? How would you of prepared for 2020? (Please note this was written in the end of December 2020) So I am going to be speaking in past tense in some of this post.
So we are all close to finishing this disasterous year (past tense). And hoping 2021 will be better, but know there is still a long way to go to get back to normality that we all know and miss. And having to adapt to the new way of Living.
HOW HAS YOUR 2020 BEEN?
For me, well it really has been a rollercoaster of events and happenings. And doing things I never thought I would be doing.
So in January I started to make plans for the new year. What I wanted to accomplish, set targets and employment aims, as I was not working. I will admit 2019 was not a good year for me either. Having a ongoing injury which effected me from working. But I have recovered from that injury now.
Feburary was a blur, seriously I don’t remember much in this month. Apart from the fact that I had stopped taking painkillers for the pain I was getting from my injury. And realised in January that maybe I was taking painkillers for the habit, as the pains I was experiencing was not continuous, but pain flares every so often. And that I was taking these painkillers since I had the injury in summer 2019.
So thought let me start to reduce my intake and see what happens. As in my mind I kind of knew my body was getting really reliant on the painkillers. And when I did eventually stop taking painkillers in Febuary 2020, the pain was not too much at this point. But experienced withdrawal symptoms which was bad migraines regular. Because my body was reacting to not having the painkillers in my system to subside any pains I was having. But I got through it, and rarely ever take painkillers now. As I don’t want to become reliant on them again.
In March I was doing a CCTV course which lasted for a couple of weeks. I remember nearing the end of the course and doing my exams, there started to be talks on the News about this Virus that was just going through countries and spreading quickly.
We all know that virus was to be COVID-19.
Like I said 2019 was not a good year for me, mentally mainly. And knew I needed help from the mental health services. As I have previously had counselling couple years ago. I spoke to my Doctor on the telephone as that had a quicker appointment time. And they suggested I should do a self-referral for mental health services. Which was easy to do on the Internet by filling out a form. I had my first counselling session in April. Well it’s CBT Cognative Behaviour Therapy. It was for my high anxiety and just overthinkng and worrying way too much.
Lets skip to the sessions, so becausae of COVID-19, and being in the First Lockdown usually this would of been face-to-face sessions. But sessions was done on the telephone, which I found very awkward to begin with and I am not the best on the telephone most times. I would of prefer going to the location to have sessions face-to-face in a different environment, and not have to worry can my neighbours above and below me hear me talking about these very private things.
I can always hear them walking around and just knew they were in their properties. So it took a couple of sessions to actually feel comfortable talking about my issues and practical ways to help me with them. I am glad I completed all sessions and didn’t give up because of the frustration of having telephone sessions and adjusting to get the benefits of these sessions and doing the homework needed to improve myself. As I have bad concerntration and can find it differcult to focus which was added pressure on me.
The sessions helped me to organise myself better, and have a better day-to-day routine. As my routine was non existant before, due to not working for a very long time. And then being forced to stay at home, when I wanted to be outside and active.
I guess things work in mysterious ways to the fact I was writing more because the sessions. And writing down thoughts more, than to have everything running around in my mind, taking up space. And lead me to start Blogging again.
To-do lists have been very productive for me, as I forget things easily and to make sure I’m getting tasks done.
My hair has surprisingly been flourishing and seeing such good hair growth, as I have been doing more DIY treatments in my hair. Including my coffee mask for my hair. My edges sadly have been through a lot due to bad hair practises and not knowing better and still seeing the effects of this now.
I had many plans for 2020 and was starting to think positive, that “This was going to be my YEAR”. Summer will be full of opportunites to make money at events, clear my debts and just have a better year than 2019. But it was not to be.
This year has been a eye-opener in many ways and discovering new things. And shining a light on those who are really there for me.
I was still able to pass the exams I did, even though I have a bad old brain.
I have gotten through this without a bout of bad depression.
Somehow I have stayed or maintained positive, during these differcult times despite many failures in my life. And also because 2019 was a similar year minus the virus.
“2021 HAS TO BE A BETTER YEAR THAN 2020”
“2021 HAS TO BE A BETTER YEAR THAN 2020”
My condolences to those who have lost love ones in 2020.
WHAT I DID IN 2020
Start up Blogging again.
Took advantage of the many free online webinars for learning and hair related topics. Until I started to experience Zoom fatigue, restlessness effects me very quickly if I’m not doing anything. And being in Lockdown which feels like forever since March 2020. Made me physically lazy, only going outside for appointments and food and a few social gatherings when I was not in Lockdown.
Did many things on Social media, like hosting Instagram lives with businesses and natural hair bloggers on my Instagram page. Which lead me to later on do blog interviews on this blog.
I started volunteering at a Local community project in September 2020 and still there now. To keep up my customer services skills, giving back time to my community and to have a good reference for job applications. As I have not been in employment for a very long time, and was starting to feel deflated and getting to used to not doing anything day to day which was not good for me.
Even though we was always advised to go outside for regular walks, it took me until December 2020 to actually act on this, and now I take regular walks at a park local to me. But for this to happen I had to change my mindset and how I was thinking as I always thought “why would I want to walk aimlessly outside?”. To let’s try out this regular walking and see how it goes.
Because of my past injuries I am restricted to the exercises I can do. And I know walking is low impact and good for me to do. I actually enjoy brisk walking in the park, doing many laps around it, even when the weather is not the best and cold. I guess secondly I was really putting on weight due to not being active, so this is another reason why I now do regular walks, and I have lost a few pounds already. It will take time to get to to my desired weight, but at least I am not gaining any more weight.
And sorting out my financial differculties, which I will go into more in a future blog post.
This may seem like a lot of words, but when you actually look closer, I haven’t done a lot in 2020. But still proud in what I have done and accomplished.
AND I AM STILL HERE TODAY